Thanks for the Watery Beer.

Pat McCormick
June 30, 1927 - July 29, 2005

Before the microbrew revolution, people did what they had to do to get good beer, or what they thought was good beer. Sometimes they'd have no choice but to employ a country trucker, his moustachioed, Firebird-driving accomplice, and a future Oscar winner to help bring that shipment of Coors to Georgia. Or was it Alabama? Same thing, really...shoeless, toothless people on porches playing banjos. That kind of thing.

One thing's for certain: Big Enos and Little Enos loved beer. But not good beer. Things were different, way back when.

Pat McCormick, who played Big Enos, was born on this day in 1927. He was best known by most for his portrayal of Big Enos in Smokey and the Bandit and its two inferior sequels. But to people like me he'll always be the Professor reading from The Big Book of Vampires at the beginning of 1989's Beverly Hills Vamp. Because people like me are weirdos, that's why.

But he spent most of his career as a top gag writer, working on The Tonight Show for twelve years. He once streaked completely naked across the stage behind Johnny during a 1974 monologue. That's comedy. McCormick also had an identical twin brother who became a police sergeant in Chicago.

He also apparently became involved with busty show regular Carol Wayne. They both served as judges in the 1984 straight-to-video Best Chest in the West, where he jokingly stated "This lady will never drown". On January 13, 1985, she drowned while on vacation in Mexico. Oops. He served as host for Best Chest in the West 2 when Dick Shawn, the host of the first one, dropped dead of a massive heart attack on stage in 1986. These are important things to know, and only I seem to know them.

Sadly, McCormick had a stroke in 1998 and was forced to retire. He spent the last seven years of his life at a Hollywood retirement home and could barely speak. Guys like Pat McCormick fall through the cracks in Hollywood and never get the recognition they deserve. But from me, they get all the love.

This is your day, Big Enos...let's have a beer. No, not that bat's piss Coors you like so much...let's have a Summit Pale Ale.