Hot, Sexy, and Still Dead After All These Years.

Brian Jones
February 28, 1942 – July 3, 1969
Jim Morrison
December 8, 1943 – July 3, 1971
What are the odds that you can be an immortal musical genius and be dead at age 27? Apparently, pretty good. Just ask Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Johnson, Kurt Cobain, and these two guys. It's called the "27 Club" among conspiracy theorists who believe that each of its members sold their souls for rock immortality.

Frankly, I'm willing to believe it in the case of Jones and Morrison.

Brian Jones formed and named the Rolling Stones, but became estranged from the band because of his drug use. Despite being a good musician, he didn't write many songs and he was happier playing blues and jazz than rock and pop. He was finally fired from the band in 1969 and found floating in his swimming pool less than a month later. The details of his death are mysterious, but it was later speculated that Jones was accidentally killed in a fight with a building contractor and it was made to look like an accident. The contractor died in 1994 and apparently confessed on his death bed.

Jim Morrison was a member of a little-known rock and roll quartet called The Doors. They released a few albums, made some decent music, but mostly it was all about Morrison drinking and pulling his penis out on stage. If you've ever heard a live Doors album, they're terrible. What really matters is that they got it right one time in the studio. Oddly, Morrison also had a water-related death: he was found floating in a bath tub after a "heart attack" in Paris. And by "heart attack" I mean "heroin overdose". Allegedly. Morrison and the Doors have been the subject of many books and one well-edited but embarrassingly heavy-handed Oliver Stone film.

I'm not sure about the legend of a "27 Club". What's the point of becoming an immortal rock legend if you have to die in the process? And what kind of retard makes a deal with the Devil?

Don't people realize that Satan, by his very nature, is going to go back on his deals? It's what he does. Satan is going to screw you over. Would Robert Johnson have gone to the Crossroads and inked a contract with Beelzebub if he knew someone was going to give him a bottle of poisoned whiskey? Would Jimi Hendrix have signed on the dotted line with the Dark One if he knew he'd soon be choking on his own vomit? Would Janis Joplin have agreed to the deed with Old Scratch if she knew that before long she'd curled up in a stinky ball of putrid hippie death? Did Kurt Cobain realize he had consented to staring down the barrel of Mephisto's double-barreled shotgun of fame? And didn't Kurt realize that his Hell experience will become infinitely worse when he's eventually reunited with his wife Courtney Love?

It all just reminds me of that CBS TV show from 1977 or so, A Year at the Top. Two musicians (David Letterman's band leader Paul Shaffer and BJ and the Bear star Greg Evigan) sign a contract with a sleazy rock promoter who guarantees them a year of success, but it involves them selling their souls and being sucked into Hell at the end of that time. The show didn't last a whole year, though, so the story didn't have a satisfying conclusion. I guess starring in BJ and the Bear, My Two Dads, and TekWar is its own kind of Hell, though.