Bill Cullen
Feb. 18, 1920 - July 7, 1990
"Like thousands of other youngsters, I was stricken with polio as a child. Even with the wonderful care I received from my parents and doctors, I still carry the scars of this experience. Somehow, it never got me down. That's why I would rather not have people who see me limp along show any pity, distress or compassion - since I don't feel this way about my physical condition."
-- Bill Cullen, 1957
Bill Cullen was a one-man game show machine. How can one man host so many game shows? What's up with that? In a career that spanned more than 35 years, he hosted at least twenty-four game shows on radio and TV. Not to mention the fact that he had crippling polio as a child, which makes all the work he did later in life seem pretty bad ass.
Most people don't know that he was the original host on The Price is Right, from 1956-1965. When the show was revived in 1972, Cullen was the original choice to host. Unfortunately, physical demands on him made him unable to take the job, and the position went to insane animal activist Bob Barker. Had Cullen been able to take the hosting job, we might never have been guilted into spaying and neutering our pets by a host who was banging his big-boobed prize sluts behind the scenes. What a wonderful world this would be if we never had to put up with Bob Barker's crap.
Cullen was also the original host of Blockbusters and Chain Reaction, as well as hosting The $25,000 Pyramid, Password Plus, The Joker's Wild, Eye Guess, Three on a Match, Hot Potato, Child's Play, Pass the Buck, Name That Tune, Stop the Music, Winner Take All, The Love Experts, I've Got a Secret, Blankety Blanks, Winning Streak, The Choice is Yours, Place the Face, Bank on the Stars, Decisons, Decisions, and How Do You Like Your Eggs?
From Wikipedia: "The Game Show Congress, a nonprofit association that seeks to promote the game show industry, annually presents the Bill Cullen Career Achievement Award to performers who have had distinguished careers in the genre. The first award in 2004 was given posthumously to Cullen himself, which his widow Ann accepted."
It should also be noted that Bill Cullen was a pilot during World War II, and was interested in mechanics. He also did color commentary for football games and track and field events. A lifelong smoker, he died of lung cancer on July 7, 1990.
You might notice that this entry isn't as snarky and hate-filled as my usual ones. That's because I was inspired by Bill Cullen. I now realize that in America you don't have to be the best at everything to succeed. You only have to be good at one thing. And no matter what that one thing is...if you apply yourself, you can make it. Not that you will make it, of course...you absolutely won't. But you theoretically can. And that really makes all the difference to delusional dreamers like myself.
Either way in the end you'll die of cancer of the lungs (or the brain, or the ass) and pretty much be forgotten...but at least you got to be on TV while you were here. A lot.
I think that's all that any of us can really ask.
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