Never Got a Dinner!

Red Buttons
Feb. 5, 1919 - July 13, 2006
What? His real name wasn't Red Buttons?!? You're blowin' my mind, man.

Red Buttons (born Aaron Chwatt) was a lot like yesterday's subject, Milton Berle. Except Red was funny and had talent. Did a ton of film and TV work, was a gifted songwriter, and yet always made time to do those Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. I was impressed that on every one, he used the same comedy routine.

(From memory) "I want to thank our guest of honor for being here tonight, and it's good to celebrate this person. But there are others from history, great people, who never got a dinner..."

And he'd do five minutes of jokes about people who never got a dinner. It always killed. Unlike that Milton Berle, who just stunk the place up with his stolen 1948 jokes, in his dress.

I always liked Red Buttons. A great comedian with good timing and also a dependable actor. He was probably the only person in The Poseidon Adventure who I have any respect for at all, even though I despise that movie. He also won both an Oscar and a Golden Globe in 1958 for Sayonara, and Milton Berle didn't.

In short, Red Buttons was talented and funny. While his IMDB biography says he still plays Vegas on occasion, I highly doubt this. I'm not sure he ever got a dinner, but he deserved one. Milton Berle almost certainly did get one, and yet he shouldn't have.

He sucked...just like he sucked yesterday.